Things Men Do That Bum Women Out
by Carolyn Bushong

Forgetting Things She's Told You

When she mentions that her great-aunt is sick of that her brother got a new job, she thinks you're actually listening. So then, when she says, "Want to come with me to see Aunt Faye in the hospital this Saturday?" and you say, "Aunt Faye is in the hospital???" she feels like you don't listen to her and don't care.

Forgetting things she's told you bums her out because she believes you would listen as carefully to her as she does to you if you really cared about her, especially when it's something that has emotionally upset her. First, you do need to listen. And second, if you think you might forget, jot it down. Once you jot things she says down a few times, it will help you focus and remember and then you won't need to.

Tuning Her Out After Work

After a long day, you sometimes need twenty minutes to unwind and so does
she. But if you're meeting for dinner, she's probably going to be excited to see you and expects the same enthusiasm. Even if it's not about her, she takes it personally.

It will always bum her out any time you don't seem excited to see her because she puts her frustrations from the day aside to acknowledge you and expects you to do the same. If you're in a bad mood or are going over something in your mind from the work day, try setting it aside while you greet her, and then clue her in that it's been a hard day and you need fifteen minutes or so (and maybe a glass of wine) before you can be completely tuned in to any conversation.

Commenting On What She's Eating

What are you? The food police? A lot of guys say innocuous things that wind up being misconstrued. Be aware and tread lightly. Like saying "Wow, you're hungry," when she takes a bite of your burger makes her think you're saying she's a piglet.

Almost every woman alive is concerned about her weight, whether it's 5 pounds or 50, so she's self-conscious when she "really enjoys" her food. It really bums her out if you notice that she is eating her food voraciously and/or if you notice how much she eats. If you feel a need to comment, be sure and do it in a positive way such as, "You're a passionate woman even when it comes to food. I like that!"

Choosing Friends Over Her

Of course she understands that you need your guys' nights, but if she hints around about going to dinner on a Saturday night and instead, you make plans with your buddies', she might be bummed. Just schedule a night to make it up to her.

She probably schedules her girls' nights out around her plans with you, and expects you to show the same consideration, and it bums her out when you don't. That doesn't mean you can't schedule a Saturday night out with the boys, but check in with her first, and be sure you schedule Friday or Sunday with her at the same time.